My scare

I had a scare this week. I was out at a fitness class and all of a sudden I had no idea why I was there or what I was meant to be doing.

Hang up a minute let me rewind.

Back in 2013/2014 I suffered from headaches and migraines. They came from no where and in that time I always had a headache it was just the severity that differed. They stopped add sudden as they appeared in early 2015. I had over 12mths of 'normality'. In the last month though things changed.

I have had 2 migraines this month and have struggled to just get through the working day. I have tried though. Even if it meant foregoing a weekend to try and recover. I did it as I hate giving in to the need to sleep my days away. The last migraine didn't fully go away though. It has been lingering around like a bad small since early last week. It was just at a headache level when I decided to go to Konga on Tuesday night.

To say I struggled would be an understatement. I kept stopping. At first I put it down to missing a class last week and didn't think much of it, but before I knew it I was stopping every few minutes trying to work it what I was doing. I felt lost.  I was getting frustrated at the fact that even the simplest of moves I was struggling with. Moves that I have been doing for almost a year. My hands and feet weren't listening to my head. Heck my head wasn't even listening to my body. Nothing wanted to work. I have never passed out before but my mind was so blank it was like I was blacking out while still awake. By the end of the class I was upset and annoyed at myself for my lack of coordination. Walking over to my keys and phone I felt funny though. I had to actually concentrate on walking. Just putting 1 foot in front of the other. It wad then I realised that something was wrong.

My hands and legs felt shaky. I had trouble unlocking my phone. I felt weird and eventually took a seat and called mum. There was no way I was getting in my car feeling like this. Mum being mum came and picked me up and the whole way home I kept thinking "maybe it is just my blood pressure". When I got home I checked and that was fine. I still struggled to explain how I was feeling other that to say I didn't feel right.  I managed a shower and ended up having an early night. In the morning it was like the night before hadn't happened. For that brief moment I wondering if I imagined the night before.

Something told me to drive to the drs and see what he said. His answer was to seems me for a MRI. So I planned that for Thursday morning. Mum said she would drive me. Firstly I will say that a MRI is loud. Like really really loud! Second, if you have a headache before, it isn't going to end well. I ended up back at home with a severe headache and needing to crawl into bed. So I called in sick to work. Not what I planned, but I knew it would be the best thing for new. I slept the day away.

That night mum suggested that I didn't drive while I waited for my results. I agreed with her and she took me to work on Friday. I still had my headache and it quickly became clear that the brain fades were not isolated to Tuesday night. I have lost my words a few times in the last few days and aside from being frustrating it is also embarrassing.

So my weekend is on hold. I am still not driving in the hopes that this headache clears and with it my lost thoughts go too. All my plans are out the door and instead I am trying not to obsess over what might be and just chill out and wait for my results. I am hoping for answers and good news.

I will say though that the last few days scared me. I felt like my body wasn't my own.

Today I am choosing to listen to my body and take it easy. I hope that you listen to yours.

Xoxo

P.S - I released my 4th book yesterday. ☺