Randomness

Some people may have already read this, but I recently took a trip down memory lane and reread this for the first time in a few years. It is one of the few pieces that I have written that still makes me smile a little.

I need heavy music to pump through my soul and laughter to fill my mind. I am but a fictional character caught in the web of life. Nothing is as it seems, but what it seems to be, is only a possibility. Time ceases to hold meaning as we all but float through the gates of life. We smile and talk, but show no emotion. Devoid of understanding as we are used as puppets to entertain an unseen person. Pulled in different directions, we are given no choice, no rights and are forced to be what everyone wants us to be.

There is no right nor wrong, no heaven nor hell. All we have is all that we have been given. Working for an invisible cause, not exactly sure of direction, but no mind to help work out the way. Imperfection is what we see in one another and to a degree ourselves, but there is not magic fix. Stuck, unable to be rational, unable to think and no way to find a better place.

Lost in limbo, a land no one has yet to understand. A place so desolate that dreams and nightmares are the same thing. Friends are but a thing of the past as we walk alone. What does it mean? The answer is nothing. There is no meaning, nothing to worry about and nothing left to learn. What once was is no longer valid, opinion and thoughts have long since escaped even the most talented of minds as we all become drones of the world. Acclimatised to a new way of life that neither protects nor harms us, but keeps us surprisingly safe from unseen existences that try to cause us unmeasurable pain. Cocooned within the lies that we are told and the seeds that are planted, we are delirious and delusional.

Somewhere deep inside our very being with feel safe. Even in the back of our controlled minds we know this to be false, a mirage to keep us from going insane, but our minds are weak and unable to accept anything but what we have been told.

A child cries an unheard tune and for a split second hearts constrict and fear is felt. Some go insane with the smallest amount of the emotion while in others it sparks a light. Something to work towards. Hope even. The curtain falls with but a heavy hand as the world becomes silent again.

Peace so temporarily disrupted has changed something. The beat of life and blood in your body awakens your spirit. You soar through the clouds only to come crashing back down to the ground at the insistence of your maker, for humans were never meant to fly. Night and day blend into this unknown thing. Not quite fully light, but not quite fully dark. A permanent light as you lay trying to sleep, forces you to stay awake.

I dance, not for myself, but for a master. I open my mouth to sing, only to have my tongue removed to keep the silence. It is now that I feel pain. It tears at me. Unseen by all who can see me and unheard. I stay strong and stop the tide of tears that want to wash down my face and those of the people around me.

I am me, there is no one else in this world the same as me. I want to learn, I want to love, I want to be free. No longer content with being a slave to an unnamed force, I demand my soul and my right to choose back. Fighting for what is not only mine, but everyone else's, I wage a war. I dare to think for myself and to dream of a future that I never thought possible.