Feelings

Some days it seems like I feel too much.

Feeling noun 

     An emotional state or reaction

I feel like I am riding an emotional wave and I want off. I am feeling overwhelmed.  Up and down and maybe slightly round and round.

I am happy but scared. I am enjoying loving in the moment but I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I worry that I am doing this whole thing called life right or if I am failing miserably. 

I am pretty sure that I am just having one of those days where I just can't tell. I can't see clearly and I just wish there was someone to tell me that I am not crazy, what I am feeling is normally and that everything is okay. I wish there was someone who knew everything that I know and could tell me that I am just overreacting.

I also can help but overthink things. I am hoping that I am reading more into things than are actually there as if I am not there is a wave of emotions heading my way. If not today, soon.

So today I am feeling too much. Tomorrow who knows, I may feel to little.

I am Beautiful

2017 - The new me...... well not the NEW, new me..... but the same me I have always been.

Since my last post (for those who haven't read it, you will find it here), I have done a lot of soul searching. It started with joining some of my Konga buddies and going and watching the documentary Embrace. For those who don't know know what this is, I would recommend that you check it out here. It is about how it is time that we all start embracing ourselves no matter how we look. It is about accepting that beauty isn't some kind of perfection and that we are all beautiful no matter how we look.

Once I started to get my head around this, I would like to say that it was easy to move in the right direction, but it wasn't. It took a lot of work, and continues to take a lot of work. It is a case of constantly reminding myself that I am beautiful.

With every time that I look in the mirror with my glasses on I still see what I class as my flaws, but I also am starting to see my external beauty as well as my inner beauty. I see my eyes, which I have always loved and the colour that I could best describe as Blue/Grey. I see my lips which despite my crooked teeth form a cute little smile. I see my giving personality that will go out of the way to help anyone in need. I see my shoulders, strong enough to hold another person if they need a shoulder to lean on. I am not to be defined by how I look, or the number on the scales.

So I am walking in the right direction. One step at a time, one day at a time.

I am not a small size, nor to I ever expect to be, but I am still beautiful. Inside and out!
I am still perfectly imperfect and I don't think that I would want it any other way.