How things change

This time last week I was ready for another working week. My clothes were washed, lunch was made and I was considering having an early night in preparation for an early morning meeting. Thoughts of my week and the work I had to get done were running through my head like they always did on a Sunday night and I was mentally creating a to-do list.

Oh how things change

Today I sit here ready to help my sister tomorrow morning drop her kids off at school since I am not working. Yep the new routine of my world since I was made redundant last Monday. I don't mind helping out, but I still would at least like to be working.

So it all started last Monday, I attended my first meeting of the day and then was getting ready for the next when I was called in by the boss and told that my job was being made redundant and from Thursday I would no longer be required. To say that I was devastated, would be an understatement. There was no prior warning and I know that I was in shock. I took the day off and then had to decide if I was able to go back and work the next 3 days. I don't recall much of Monday, I think that I spent much of my day in tears or blowing my nose. By midday my face was puffy and red and my jaw hurt from crying. I made the decision then that I wouldn't be able to go back. Well at least not to work.

I managed to go into the office shortly after coming to that decision and I spent less than an hour clearing my office out with all 8 and a half years worth of accumulated stuff. The bags of this are still in my room tormenting me. I haven't been able to go through them yet, but I know that I need to. It was then that I knew that I was making the right move for me. In the time I was back in the office, it was uncomfortable. No one knew what to say to me, or would even look at me. It just left me feeling like I wasn't meant to be there at all.

Tuesday started the beginning of my new normal. I spent most of the day staring at my laptop screen trying to work out what I had done for the last 8yrs and putting it down on paper. I tried to think of all the things that I had achieved and highlight my strengths in a CV. I had no idea where to begin, but evenutally I found my way. I started looking for a new job. I applied for 1, but I didn't hold much hope that it could be that easy.

By Wednesday I was going insane. My CV still wasn't perfect and for those who know me, you would know how much that would annoy the hell out of me. Thursday and Friday was like wash, rinse and repeat. I was bored already. There was only one thing that kept me somewhat sane.

My friends and family.

The support that I have received this week have helped beyond measure. While still in shock, my brother and sister helped me realise that it made perfect business sense and that it wasn't a reflection on my work ethic. Heck my sister took the cupcakes she was baking out of her oven and then drove to my place to help me and used my oven to finish baking them. In the following days, it didn't matter who I spoke to, whether it be family, friends or ex work colleagues they all reiterated the same thing and while in my heart I knew that this was the case, it was nice for my head to have that reminder. Getting flowers from my sister and her boys on Friday to stop me from being sad made me smile, and still do.

When I said that I wanted an adventure this year, this is not what I had in mind.

So on the other side of the rainbow I am finding positives wherever I can and while this isn't the adventure that I had in mind at the start of the year, this is the one I am currently facing and I plan to do the best with what I have.

It just goes to so how things can change!