Monday, 27 October 2014

Life and Death part 10

If you haven't started reading this short story, now is the time! Life and Death

Part 10



The sun was high in the sky when she woke from her sleep. Slowly she stretched out and felt her muscles protest at the movement. Her throat was parched and her head was pounding, but it was a good feeling as the memories of the night before filtered into her consciousness. It had been a great night. With her eyes still closed she reached out and realised that he was gone. A wave of disappointment crossed her, but disappeared quickly as she realised that it was probably for the better. Now was not a good time for her to be getting involved in a relationship. He had been good in bed though. The memory of it made her smile. How could she have denied herself of the pleasure of a man for so long? Opening her eyes she took a deep breath and got out of bed ready to face the day.
Washing away the night before, she felt revived. All the stress had left her body and she was filled with positivity once more. No matter what the day was going to bring, she looked forward to it. Not bothering with makeup on the weekend she dressed and made herself a cup of coffee. She turned on her computer and sat down in front of it to catch up on the week’s news. She felt like she was being watched and when she turned she saw him, standing in the doorway with a grim look on his face.
“Where did you disappear to yesterday?”
“I was around. Have a nice night?” His voice was tight.
“As a matter of fact I did.” She wanted to tell somebody and she blurted the words out before she could stop herself. She knew that it was none of his business and that she didn’t have to justify her actions to anyone, least of all, but she did it anyway.
“My brother thought that you were nice too. He was sorry to leave this morning, but muttered something about having fun.” He responded bitterly.
It didn’t take long for his words to sink in and her heart dropped at the implication. “Brother….?”
“Yes brother.” He stayed where he was for fear that if he got to close she would lash out physically. He could only imagine what she was feeling. She stared at him blankly as he words sunk in. He watched her. Her face was scaringly calm and he had no idea how she was going to react next.
“Is he…..” Her voice tapered off. Her good mood was crashing down around her.
“Like me? Yes, Mitchell is an agent of death like me.” Taking his cues from her, he matched her tone and fought not to make it any worse for her.
“So last night was what exactly?” He could see the pain on her face even before he spoke.
“Mitchell was sent by our boss as a test.”
“A test! Is that all I am? A god damn puzzle for you all to keep playing with?” Her voice was reverberated in anger.
“This is bigger than you realise. It needed to be done. We needed to know for sure.” Knowing that each word he spoke and every action that he tried to justify, he was only making it worse, he wished for nothing more than to stop her pain.
“Needed to be done? I suppose that you were powerless to stop it?” She didn’t know what to be more hurt by, the fact that she had been so used, or the fact that he knew what was going to happen and didn’t warn her. Sarcasm and hurt flowed through her voice now.
“I was given a direct order to stay out of it. We brothers tend not to work together very often, but you…..”
“Brothers? You mean that there are more than just the two of you?” It occurred to her then that she had never asked his name.
“Yes. There are five others plus me. Levi, Heath, Jordon, Eric and you have met Mitchell last night.” There was no point lying to her anymore. He cared more than he should about her and wished that the night with Mitchell had not happened.
“Since you have told me there names, what is yours?”
“I am Alex.”
“Well then Alex, I want answers, and I want them now.”
“I can’t tell them to you. It is not my place to say. Last night…..”
“Last night happened, I wish that it hadn’t and regret it in the light off day, but at least now I can say that I have faced death twice and lived.” She snapped out the words so fast that he stood in shock for a moment.
“If only you knew.” The words tumbled out of his mouth faster than he could stop them.
Silence filled the room as Eve continued to take in everything. Alex still stood on the other side of the room.
“I want to know the answers.” She pulled herself together and continued “take me to him.” She was staring at him now. The pain was hidden from her face and if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes he would have never known that it had existed.
“Take you to who?”
“Your boss, whoever it is that calls the shots. I want answers.” Eve’s tone was strong and demanding.
“Eve you can’t possibly go there.” Alex was worried and scared for her. She had no idea what she was asking of him.
“Will you just take me? It is not like you have another option.”
“I do have an option. I didn’t realise it before, but I have a choice. I want to keep you safe.” She was left speechless by his comment. This coming from death, the person who had been trying for days to kill her? Moments passed as she tried to think of what to say.
“Safe? Why?”
Could he really say the words that she wanted to hear? He thought about what such an admission could do to him. Was he willing to risk everything that he knew for her?
“I think that I care about you.”
Her heart stopped as she stared as he stood before her, not entirely comfortable with his admission. “It still doesn’t change my request. I can’t live with death hanging over my head like this. Please can you just take me?” She spoke like what he had said meant nothing to her.
“You really have no idea what you are asking of me. You are talking about going to see the Godfather of death. What do you think that you are going to say to him? Leave me alone? It won’t work.” He was becoming agitated at the thought that she so willingly wanting to risk everything to end this.
“I will work it out when I get there.” She was so headstrong. Alex didn’t doubt for one minute that she would go behind his back if he didn’t help her. No matter how much he wanted to keep her safe, it was just not going to be an option. If he didn’t take her, she would only look for another way to get there. At least if she was with him, he could try and keep her safe.
“Fine. I was going home today anyway. Get organised, I have to be there in an hour.” He disappeared from her sight, leave her with her thoughts. Alex cared about her and wanted to keep her safe? Getting up she contemplated what she was going to say while getting ready. Maybe today was a makeup worthy day after all. She needed to make some kind of impression.
What had he done? He left her there alone and sought out Mitchell.
“I am in trouble Mitch, bigger trouble than I know what to do with.” They were sitting on top of a high rise tower looking out at the city around and below them.
“What kind of trouble?”
“I think that I am falling for her.” Mitchell showed no surprise at his announcement.
“That doesn’t surprise me. I could feel your pain and tension last night when I was with her. I knew then that there was more to the situation than I had been briefed on. Does father know?”
“Not yet, but he will soon. She managed to convince me to take her with me today to see him.”
“Have you lost your mind? He will kill her himself if he has the chance.” Mitchell’s words were exactly the same as the ones that he had left unspoken.
“There was nothing that I could do. I want to keep her safe, but she is going to make it hard for me if I don’t take her there. I don’t want to risk her getting hurt or worse dying by his hand.”
“What do you need?”
“I need my brothers there today, all of you. Can you get everyone there for me? I am hoping that safety in numbers will help her.”
“Of course I can do that.”
“Thank you.” He went to walk away when Mitchell called to him one last time.
“She is amazing, if you think that you love her, don’t let her go. We all need some form of happiness in our lives.”
Alex wasn’t going to do that ever. He would end his life before he ever tried to end Eve’s again.

Eve was waiting for him to return. Watching the clock there were several times she got up and checked that it was still working. She didn’t know where Alex had gone, but she was as ready as she was ever going to be. He appeared in the room just before the hour was up and surprised her.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes.” She replied nervously.
“This is how it works. You grip my hand and close your eyes. I transport us to where we need to go. You change your mind once we get there and all that you have to do is say the word and I will bring you straight back here, no questions asked. Understand?” She nodded her head and held out her hand shakily. He gripped it and instantly sparks flew as the connection was made. Moments later they were standing outside what looked to be an abandoned building. His eyes sought out her face and asked the unspoken question.
“Let’s go.” Were the only words that she spoke.
They walked inside and down the same dark stairs that he had walked down many times before. He held her had tightly to steady her as she struggled to remain upright on the wonky steps. At the bottom he let her hand go and together they walked into an open room where his father sat. Mitchell had kept his promise and his brothers were line up on either side of the room.
“Alex” His father acknowledged him as he walked into the room. “Who is this that you have brought with you today?”
Before he could respond a voice rang out in the room. “My name is Eve.”
She assessed her surroundings, looking from one person to another. When her eyes met Mitchell he at least had the decency to look embarrassed. At the end of the room an older man sat looking very commanding. His gaze was intimidating and he gave off distinct waves of authority. He nodded “that makes sense. You have caused a bit of a stir these last few days. It isn’t every day that all of my sons come to see me at the same time. Well that is when it is not task allocation day I mean.”
She didn’t react to hearing that this was Alex’s father. Part of her had suspected it the moment that she walked into the room. There was a similarity in looks between the older man and Alex. “I wasn’t aware of that. I hope that my presence is not going to get Alex into any further trouble.” Alex stood next to her silent. He wanted to open his mouth, but he still had no idea what to say, so he opted to stay quiet in the hopes that when the words did come to him, that they would be enough.
“Well that is still to be decided. It guess it depends on what my sons are about to tell me.” He turned to Mitchell, “I see that Alex is not the only failure amongst us. Care to tell me what happened?”
“Father, it wasn’t possible. I can’t explain it. I did everything that I have always done, but still she breaths.” Eve’s thoughts floated back to the night before and once more she was filled with regret.
“Why are the rest of you here then?” She watched the brothers squirm when asked the question by the older man.
“I asked for them to be here father. It was my request.” Alex finally broke his silence and left Eve with more questions than answers.
“You are aware that by bringing her here you are risking a lot. Is she worth it?”
“I think that she is. So much so that I am willing to risk a lot more than you realise.” Eve watched at Alex stared at the imposing man in front of her. “Brothers, I have asked you here for many reasons, but the main one is that I believe that Eve here is life and can resist death. Our father thinks that it is a crazy suggestion.” He paused and looked at Mitchell. “I am not the only one that has tried to kill her this week and every time that someone has tried, they have failed.” Alex and Mitchell seemed to speak to one another without words.
“What Alex says is true. I was with Eve last night, and other than an enjoyable time, it is clear that nothing more happened.” Mitchell turned his attention to his remaining brothers. Their faces were blank and showed nothing as to what they may have been thinking.
“Enough of this nonsense. There is no such thing as life.” The voice boomed so loudly that there was no doubt left in Eve’s mind that coming here was a mistake. How could they be so sure of what she was when she didn’t even know herself?  More to the point, what had she been thinking when she has said that she wanted to come here? It was like feeding time at a loin’s cage and she was the food. She suddenly didn’t feel safe here anymore.
 

Sunday, 26 October 2014

When is it time to cut your loses?

When is it time to cut your loses and give up on your dreams?

As a kid we are told to dream big and we can achieve it all, but what happens when we realise that we can't achieve them? When do you give up?

At 16, I dreamed of being married in my early 20's. I could see myself working in a book store and being happy. 

At 18, I dreamed of owning that book store and maybe having it attached to a café with funky chairs and lounges littering the place to invite people to relax. 

At 21, I was still single with no boyfriend in sight. I dreamed of getting married in my late 20's and working in a better job than what I was. It was at this time I realised that I learned that I liked talking to people as I could be anyone I wanted to be and they would know no different. 

At 25, I dreamed of exploring more of the world before I settled down. I had travelled part of Australia, but it wasn't enough. I dreamed of getting married still and having children. My earlier dreams of owning a book store faded further and further into the background. 

At 28, I dreamed of becoming an author. If only I thought that I was good enough for it. If want a book store or a café, but it was still something that I enjoyed  I was still as single as I was at 16, so now or wad marriage and children that we floating further and further into the background. 

At 30, I dreamed of escaping, even just for a little bit, and I did. I saw more of the world and became even more restless with life. 

Now at 31, I don't have the heart to dream and I can't help but wonder if it is time to cut my losses and give up on my dreams. Nothing I have dreamed has really come true. I am not married, I don't have children of my own, I don't work or own a book store and I am definitely not an author. That isn't to say that I am not thankful for what I have and my life as it is,  but it certainly isn't the one that I ever dreamed of wanting. 

Monday, 6 October 2014

Happy Birthday to me!



Happy Birthday to me!

I have never been one to really celebrate my birthday, however after spending my last birthday overseas I was struggling more so this year with my impending birthday more than ever. I didn’t want a party, a dinner out was too hard to organise and finding something to do proved to be more of a challenge than expected. In the end I just went for what made me happy. I decided stuff it, I was going to do something that I wanted, and not something that made everyone else happy. It got me thinking about the year before and how happy I was. I was seeing and experiencing new things. It was once I thought about that, that I knew exactly what I wanted to do for my birthday this year. I wanted to explore something new. Thus began the plan of an amazing weekend.

I got my hair done on the Saturday morning before driving home, picking up my brother and sister, grabbing a couple of cameras (and spare batteries) and heading out for a day of exploring my own back yard..... Perth! All that I wanted was to take photos of the city from South Perth at night and be at a beach at sunset. Anything else was to be a bonus. We started first by driving down the coast. The day was clear and the water looked amazing, even from the car. The wind blew through my hair and I laughed at the stories we told on another.





With my brothers help we then ended up at the abandoned mental asylum, which not only showed a once beautiful building with such a tragic history, but also gave me the first views of the city. It is now a construction site and is being renovated.



From there made our way towards Fremantle. As with any time you drive through there, the old style buildings leave me in awe. Give me the old style buildings any day of the week.




Next stop was the abandoned power station. This was simply amazing. I understand now why this is a heritage site. My sister said if only it wasn’t tagged and graffittied, but I think that added to the look and charm of it. The fact that it was right on the edge of a beach gave me a chance to take both photos of the building and of the beach.




I have been to Kings Park many times before, but never have I been to any of the lookouts and I have never before seen the war memorial there. Needless to say I was in awe! I could have spent hours there, just sitting and reflecting. You could see the whole city, South Perth and the river. The fact that there was had been a prescribed burn north of the city that sent smoke across the city which reflected the sun as it set added a whole different feel to the photos.







Our second last stop of the day was South Perth Foreshore. We arrived just after the sun had set so the lighting was a lot darker, but the lights of the city reflected beautifully over the river. We stayed there until I was happy that I had taken enough non blurry photos to be happy and my arm got sore. I wouldn’t have changed a thing though.






The last stop of the day was for dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Having never eaten Mexican out before, it was a new experience and one that I was thankful to do as it fit the whole feel of the day. It was a small gathering of only 5 people, but the laughs we had and the atmosphere were just what I wanted. The food was great and I can’t wait to try it again.

Sunday was a bit of a rainy day, so it was a lot harder to get out and about, not only for the rain, but for the fact that my foot was aching from Friday and Saturday. In the end after spending some time in the garden I decided that I would end up spending the afternoon with my sister, brother and mum cooking for dinner tomorrow night. It rained at one point and that was the best I got with photos.




Today is my actual birthday and considering it is a work day, I have been spoilt. The gifts, the birthday wishes and the flowers. I am feeling very loved!




At the end of the weekend I have come to 2 conclusions.

  1. I need a camera like my sister’s, no matter the cost!
  2. Happy Birthday to me!

All images shown here were taken by me and are unedited.